Best Friend

According to Wikipedia : Best Friend, someone with whom one shares the strongest possible kind of friendship

My definition's :

Best friend is someone who always there for you, no matter what happened.

Best friend is someone whom never judge you, they just accepts you for whom you are, even you did the most stupid mistakes. Even you had advised her / him against the stupid decision.

Best friend is someone whom will be there for you, when you need a shoulder to cry.

Best friend will standby you no matter what.

Best friend is also someone whom you can put her / him as your emergency contact no.

Best friend is someone you can call anytime, just to cry or talk stupid....

Well, that's my definition's of best friend. I 'betrayed' that definition recently. I didn't do what I supposed to do as a best friend.

I was very angry with one of my best friend recently. He made a stupid mistake that almost cost our relationship, and he is going to make another stupid mistake.

He asked, will you be there for me if my decision now is a mistake?

I told him off, and told him that I won't be there for him anymore. I won't be his best friend anymore. I told him I looked down on him for making such a stupid mistake. I told him to get out of my life and my sight.

Now, I realized. He was really sad and disappointed when I told him this.

All his response was : I thought you are my best friend. I thought you will always be there for me. I thought you are the person I can always come back to after a disaster. I will always be your best friend.

I shouted back at him. 'You did not live up to the expectation as a best friend. That's why I hate you and angry with you!'

Then, I had a conversation (virtually) with my another best friend. I told her, my definition's of best friend. Then, it hit me. I did not live up to the best friend's expectation. I am not a good best friend. I was selfish to reject him and told him off like this, when he needed me most in this situation. He was there for me throughout my difficult situations.

I shouldn't judge him. I shouldn't give him an ultimatum. I shouldn't ignore him. I need to be there for him. He is my best friend. He had became part of my life. All my best friends are actually part of my life, no matter how they behaves or treat me...or judge me. And, I am a family to him. He treats me as one of his family.

Ah... so stupid of me. I am really really sorry dear. I shouldn't have done this to you. I know you are very disappointed and sad with me now. I am sorry. Let's make up (dinner etc... not on bed) and be the best of friend, forever.

I will always love you. To all my best friends out there, I love you guys. I am sorry if I ever judge you guys.

I felt better now. All I need to do now is just to give him a call and make up. And say sorry. Yes, Sorry is never the easiest words. But, guess we need to say it when we are in the wrong.

This post is dedicated to my best friend whom I abandon. I am sorry.